


Fuck the Feds

by n0t_leaving



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV), Criminal Minds RPF
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - Punk, Child Neglect, Family, Hotch/Reid if you squint, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Out of Character Spencer Reid, Punk Spencer, Sort Of, Tattoos, alternative universe, basically headcanons, punk themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:54:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 6,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24841885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/n0t_leaving/pseuds/n0t_leaving
Summary: The other's start to realise their view of Spencer is far from what he really is. They put him the box of 'geeky virgin' and this is how they realise how wrong they were.basically 5 +1 things of the team getting clues that reid isn't as straight forward as they thought he was
Comments: 23
Kudos: 337





	1. Part 1

They really started to question their understanding of Reid's life when they first walk into his apartment.

Initially it is exactly what they had expected; covered floor to ceiling in books, furniture that looked like it belonged in some gothic castle and figurines from god knows what Sci-Fi show littering any available surface.

"I'd always assumed he wouldn't even have a TV." Morgan says, moving to Reid's bedroom to get him some clothes so he wouldn't be forced to wear a hospital gown for the next day or so.

"You've got to give the kid some created Morgan, he may be a technophobe, but he is 23 after all."

"I guess," he moved to the bathroom in search of a toothbrush, "Hey Emily? Do you know if Reid is seeing anyone?"

"No, fairly certain he's been single since forever."

"Tell that to this," he says as he dramatically presents old mug which held a bottle of liquid eyeliner and eyeshadow, as well as various hair bands.

"Maybe, the kid has got a special someone, would explain this too," she replies holding out an electric guitar; black with chipped white paint- it's battered and clearly well used, "Maybe he picked it up to impress this eye-liner girl."

"That, or maybe it's hers-"he opens the fridge, "...or his?"

He gestures to its contents of an excessive amount of beer.

"You're saying either Reid is dating a guy who wears eyeliner or a girl who likes beer, both of which like/play guitar and/or live with him and are seemingly incredible cool- who knew the kid had such game."

"Hey, I don't know, I feel like Pretty Boy never tells me anything anymore- could go either way."

"Seems serious, I don't think we should mention it. At least wait for him to bring it up, you know how protective he gets of any personal information."

"That's the truth."

And they leave, with a small bag of essential items and a little more respect for their resident genius.


	2. Part 2

It's safe to say they all really started questioning their opinion of Reid when they were looking at Emily's high school photos.

"Didn't it hurt?" Penelope asked from her perch on Reid's desk.

"What? Having all that coolness in high school?"

"No, my Gothic disaster, the face piercings- just thinking about that needle sends my brain into ouchy ouchy mode."

She opened her mouth to answer when she was interrupted- "It really depended where and how you get them done, the most common place is the nose with 34% of American's of age having it done suggesting that it is not very painful, where as only 17% have an area of their lip pierced and that is commonly thought of as the most painful, due to skin sensitivity and areas of cartilage. Though in my experience it wasn't hugely painful in either incidences, however you have to factor in original pain tolerance and the method used, not mentioning the experience of the piercer and the level of intoxication on both sides."

Both women looked somewhat floored.

"My my Doctor, did you just imply that you have had not only your nose, but also lip pierced and that it was done drunk?"

"Yes, I thought that was obvious. Though neither of us were drunk for the lip piercings the risk of infect and error too high, but the both of us were considerably inebriated for the nose."

"My sweet baby G man, did you say piercings?! I feel my whole world just till off axes."

"Yes, I had two snake bites and a nose ring- it that really a surprise? I thought everyone could see the holes?"

"Believe me Genius this is big big surprise?"

And if Reid wasn't already hating this conversation, Derek walking into it definitely made him loath it. "Who's surprised Baby Girl?"

"Oh, you are going to love this," She squealed, giggling and gesturing to a Reid whose face was firmly planted in his hands. "Our sweet innocent Baby Boy had his lips and nose pierced, while drunk!"

Derek shot Emily a raised eyebrow of disbelief, "Did he really?"

"Yes really," Reid repeated, willing this to be over, "I have a total of 13 piercings, none of which I wear to work as the risk of getti-"

"13!" Penelope was practically vibrating now.

Reid just rolled his eyes, addressing Prentis and Morgan's shock expressions, "4 on my left lobe, 1 on my right lobe, 2 helix on my left, normal and forward, 1 industrial bar on my left, a daith on my right ear, my 2 snake bites, a nose ring and 1 nipple piercing which I instantly regretted, so I only the one pierced."

To say that they were studded would be an understatement.

After a moment Derek leaned forward and poked his finger into Reid's cheek, rocking him slightly. "Is he real? Am I mad? Is this the same person? Next you'll be telling us you have sleeves or something."

"No, you are right I don't have tattoo sleeves, as FBI guidelines were surprising strict about that, as was Hotch. But judging by your reaction is it safe to say you don't know about my tattoos?"

Garcia gave a faint "Oh my God what is happening?"

"How many?" Prentiss asked, which an amused glint in her eye that Reid was not enjoying.

"Well, that's more complicated. I guess you could say I have 11, though 3 of them have small individual components that suggest upwards of 50 tattoos, though that seems a little farfetched. Hey, why do you look so disturbed, you also have tattoos Morgan."

"Yeah but Pretty Boy, you seem so...I just assumed you were against them or something, germs and needles and stuff kid."

"I guess that is true, though considering I start getting when I was just shy of 14 my worries of infection were considerably lower and I wasn't big on selfcare back then anyway." He paused then and thought, "I think I didn't really care what would happen. Oh, and it helps that I knew the artist, he hooks me up whenever I want stuff now."

"Your mum let you get tattoos at 13?"

"What? God know she'd have hate it- but I was living alone then, doing my Doctorate and they were free cause a new a trainee and I really wanted some so, you know..." He trailed off, suddenly unsure if they did know. He had assumed that getting tattoo was a common thing for teenagers. "I think I'm going to get more coffee." He said, escaping the conversation with very little subtlety, leaving behind the disbelieving faces of his friends.


	3. Interlude

Interlude- tattoos (the first 5 that really mattered)

Reid's first tattoo was a hashtag his mother etched onto his foot when he was 7, he was forbidden to mention this to anyone (and he never has), as it was the only way his mother knew he was the really Spencer during an episode and not a government replacement created to spy on her.

The next he did himself, at 14, after a policeman slapped him for answering back as his mother was arrested for public indecency. It took 2 hours and a lot of ink and patient. It reads 'FUCK THE FEDS' on his left thigh and it's still is favourite. (many people have offered to touch it up for him and do it professionally, he declines every time)

His 6th was a scrawny carton racoon with it's middle fingers in the air on his hip that he got at 16. He was fired by his boss for eating the scraps of food of people's plates after he's cleared their table- he was supporting both himself and his mum by himself and had to get food where he could, not old enough to sneak into casinos, he wasn't ashamed. So, after he was fired, and his Boss called him a filthy scrounger no better than a raccoon he made it a feature.

A month into working at the BAU he gets his 10th, after he sees a body so bludgeoned not even the family could identify the body. He gets his name, FBI number and date of birth in a simple typed font on the sole of his left foot below the hashtag, so people will likely know who he is if he's ever in a similar state- he thinks it goes nicely with the hashtag's sentiment.

His 11th is ongoing, it's simple tally marks each one inch, below his collar bone, that mark every victim he failed. The one for his mum is next to both Elle and Tobias. Hotch is the only one that knows what it stands for and he doesn't approve, but it realises his guilt and makes the hurt feel less awful.


	4. Part 3

Sometimes, well a lot of the time, Reid was weird. He did things that just confused the other team members, but they accepted because that's just how Reid was. But when Reid turned up to work on Monday in a distinctly weird and un-Reid like way, the others went into hyperdrive.

He walked in, much like any other day, with coffee in one hand and his bag in the other and sat at his desk.

Unlike any other day he was sporting a black eye and split lip.

"You okay Pretty Boy?" Morgan asked, giving his best impression of himself on a normal day where Reid would walk in without looking like he had been beaten to a pulp the previous day. He was trying so desperately to not scare Reid away; "You look a little..."

"What?" a genuinely confuse Reid muttered glancing up from his paperwork, "Oh, my face. I'm okay, just a bar fight."

And then he had the audacity to go back to work.

"Okay, I'm gonna go get some tea." And with that Morgan promptly walking directly past the kitchen break room, straight into Garcia's office, grabbed her arm without saying a word, walked straight to JJ's office, did exactly the same with both her and Prentiss and marched all 3 of them to the break room before shutting the door tightly.

"What the hell Derek? We were going over new cases." Emily complained rubbing her wristed where Morgan had dragged her.

"Have you seen Reid today?! He has bruises, actually real bruises on his face and you know what he says- he says he was in 'a bar fight'" he raved uses his fingers to emphasize how the 'bar fight' was most definitely not a 'bar fight'.

He then opened the door for them enough for them to all peer around it, scrutinising Reid before scurrying to shut It as his head snapped their way.

"Oh, my poor G-Man, is he okay?"  
"I don't know, whatever happened he won't tell me"

"Maybe it was just a bar fight." Emily suggested

"I don't think so Em, this is Spence we're talking about."

"I know Jayje, but why would he lie?"

"I don't know maybe he's in trouble."

"Maybe, but I think this is something he's got to work out for himself- he'll never trust us again if we go barging into his life like that."

"It's just so hard to see our little Genius be so hurt."

While they were in the break room, probably gossiping he surmised, Reid took the opportunity to see Hotch.

He heard the familiar "coming in" as he tapped on the door.

He stood uncertainly for a moment before shuffling forward a placing a small brown bag on Hotch's desk. "I- ugh- brought you a 'Thanks for bailing me out of jail again' brownie."

Hotch raised one quizzical eyebrow, "With white chocolate chips?"

The tension dissipated from Reid's frame, and he jerked his head in a nod before hesitantly continuing "I'm really sorry I rang, or had to ring you, it's just that Mart-"

Hotch elevated the other eyebrow, cutting Reid off, "I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to call me, though I do wish you wouldn't keep doing this."

Reid's gaze dropped to his shoes, "I know Sir, it's just these guys were picking on this kid for being gay and threatening to- I just couldn't not do something."

Hotch's features softened considerably at that- "I know Spencer, I just wish you'd have a little more self-preservation."

Reid made a move towards the door, and just as he was leaving Hotch stopped him; "Maybe learn to run away from the cops and not fight them when they arrest you for fighting, it might save us all some money and time."

And with that he was back to work, leaving Reid to walk down the stair with a pink tinge on his cheeks.


	5. Part 4

It was safe to say the holiday case 2 month later was when they really began to wonder if they ever actually knew Reid at all.

They had been called in to find an unsub who had killed 4 children and had kidnapped a fifth in Virginia, interrupting their 2-week holiday. They had all managed to get back from whatever resort come family visit they were at with in the 1 hour. All expect Reid who appeared like a jack from a box in the 2nd hour, surprising the whole team.

They were all sat at the round table all somewhat presentable when a very flustered, very dirty, very high Spencer hurried in.

The team all stared at him; taking in the rumbled black faded jeans, the mud trodden Doc Martins, the black t-shirt stained with acid and filled with little hole, the black leather jacket clearly 4 sizes too big that had a detailed bear sprayed over with a red anarchist symbol on the back, the black bandana keeping his wild hair off his face and exposing the shaved sides they had failed to notice, and most of all the bloodshot eyes that held his pupils that were triple the size they should be.

Hotch was the first to break the spell, giving an exhausted and heavy sigh of great pain.

"Hey! This is not my fault! I was halfway into the next state on a road trip when you called- I was in the middle of fucking nowhere having a grand old time in the woods when you rang me. I was already fucked when you called it's not like a can fucking magic myself sober alright. So, you've just gotta deal with this until I'm back to normal- also does anyone have any snacks I'm fucking dying over here."

In a state complete an utter shock, JJ held out a bag of Cheetos.

He ripped them open and started stuffing them in his face, grabbing Rossi's file flipping through it before leaping into a theory, Cheetos still being munched away: "Abduction looks like an escalation, common with a desire to nurture suggest huge remorse and need to care, pairing that with how they are displayed looks like could be some kind of doctor or nurse, probably had kids previously and was unable to save them from a disease that effects skin so that'll narrow down the search. Oh oh look at that! The kids have different blanket colours like they do at home they probably had them given as get well soon gifts, I had one once after Dad pushed me down the stairs and I broke me legs and some ribs, horrible business but I got a free blanket from the hospital so probably-"

"Okay Pretty Boy, you need to take a breath." Morgan stated manoeuvring Reid onto the sofa and away from the case files which were now coated in fluorescent Cheetos dust.

"Right yes, sobering up. Okay!" Reid leapt up away from Morgan and left the room shouting "coffee run" as he went, returning the room to its state of previous shock.

"Was anyone gonna tell me the Kid turns into Willie Nelson on speed in his down time."

Hotch looked at Rossi pinching the bridge of his nose and sighed, again. "I was aware he- smoked- from time to time but he assured me it was only occasionally and when he knew he wouldn't have to work."

"And you were okay with that?" Morgan accused crossing his arms over his chest.

"Honestly, it seems to help him relax and I wasn't going to take the away from him. As far as the legality goes, I've witnessed him break far more serious laws than smoking marijuana and whatever other drugs he takes so it's more of a don't ask scenario, where I trust his judgement and he trusts my understanding."

And if Hotch was aiming for creating chaos he succeeded, as the room erupted in outburst from everyone.

"Look! We can discuss this later but right now we have to prioritise,"

They didn't; end up talking about it later, as Reid avoided them all like the plague, part embarrassed part ashamed until they all silently agreed it may be best to let it slide.

What they did discuss, was that that was not only the most confident and relax Reid had ever seen, clad in clothes so far removed from his Boy Genius persona, but also that that was the fastest they have ever seen him solve a case.

A guilty feeling trickled though all of them- did they even know the person the claimed to love and accept so much?


	6. Part 5

It was a short while after the 'holiday case' as it became dubbed, when they addressed the elephant in the room- just without the elephant being conscious.

He was passed out on the jet after a 3 days case where he had been away for all 3 days. After making sure he was out, check by Emily lobbing a pillow at his head, JJ tentatively brought up the subject.

"Do- do you think we even know him? The really him? The one outside of his intelligence?"

Morgan shifted uncomfortably; "Maybe this is how Pretty Boy is, maybe it's a compartmentalising technique?"

"Whatever this is, it must stem from his childhood- Morgan you said he started getting tattoos and piercings at 15 and so that must be when this sort of behaviour started. I've never heard the kid talk about those years, so something must have been a trigger then."

"You're talking like he's an unsub, Rossi."

"Well if you want to get to the bottom of this 'behaviour' without asking this is the way to do it."

JJ looked guilty but proceeded; "What do we know of this time then?"

"He was starting his second degree, away from his parent living alone."

"But," Prentiss cut in, "he's always been alone, looking after his mum alone, that must have been hard. How was he getting money for her care, though?"

"Even I know that Prentiss, Casinos- that damn kid could wipe me out and he'd give it all to that poor mum of his."

"So, what are you saying Rossi?" Morgan interjected, "he was influenced by the gambling life and he took up smoking and creating himself a whole new personality."

"No that is not what I'm saying, I'm saying he's had to scavage for himself and maybe it's a preservation thing and he doesn't know how to be himself with others."

Hotch cut across the increasingly aggressive conversation; "It's Reid's life and it always has been- he wouldn't appreciate any of you snooping into his background- either you ask or you let it go. He doesn't analyse our lives."


	7. Hotch

How Hotch finally understood Reid- months before the others.

It was the Tobias case, because it always is. He's in the hospital, waiting for Reid's exam to be over, imagining him sitting in the chair bound and vulnerable and so innocent. When they arrive.

4 men, Hotch would have dismissed as punks searching for some sort of band mate, but they're walking, striding towards him with such purpose that he can't doubt them.

"Suit- Mr Suit- Hotch right?" The first one says, clearing the leader with the most dominant personality and obvious age difference. His posture exuded the confident which comes with financial security but the lines in his face also express extreme worry- matched on the faces on the 3 that followed him.

His well masked surprise at this stranger knowing his name must not have fooled this man; "I'm Spencer Reid's emergency contact- uh sort of legal guardian." Well, that is a surprise. These men, who appear no more than a battered group of outcasts: lumped together, most likely some kind of gang- maybe biker, but judging by outfits they look like veterans of the punk scene.

Suddenly quirks in Spencer's personality start to shift into place.

The youngest, a short man with a compact body and shrewish face stepped forward, hands wringing together, twitching- ex-addict his brain supplies, probably cocaine, juts forward; "Is Penny, is he good? He ain't hurt is he?"

"Would you mind showing me your ID?" He addresses the alpha.

"Right yeah, course." He states frantically slapping the pockets of his dark jacket. "Here: Martin Jeffords, we -uh- looked after Spence."

It checks out-and it makes sense.

"He's okay Mr Jeffords. I'm not going to soften this for you- Dr. Reid has been though a lot; physically he will recover, he has multiple burns, malnourished and he has a couple cracked ribs from CPR that was as a result of a seizure and a sprained ankle. Emotionally, having been held captive and effectively tortured for 3 days it is difficult to say whether he will fully recover. It is also suspected he has been drugged with a hallucinogenic which will have devastating repercussions for his state of mind. What I can tell you is that he'll need all the support he can get currently, despite how strong he is."

He looked away from Martin's face and noticed the younger one cry into the arms of a slightly older black man, who had bleached dreadlocks and a similar heartbroken expression. Behind him was a sturdy man, large and muscle bounded his demeaner of straightened back, tightened shoulders, and tilted head screamed a vet who had experienced loss like this before. Martin's face seemed to mirror his and Gideon's- a face of a man who'd lost his son.

"Thank You Agent Hotchner; do you know whether visitors are permitted?" he tentative broaches, voice cracking.

"Right this way Sirs."

He watched from the window as then men bundled into Reid's room, hedging slightly at the edge of his bed before his face crumples and he is pulled into the arms of Martin, his body racking with sobs. The others moving forward and hold as much as him as they can. 

He smiled, glad the kid had these people to be there for him, no matter what.

Much later he'll know these men as Martin, Bear, Tig and Cliff. He'll spend numerus night with them and Reid and more than a few Sunday lunches at their house. And each time he'll be thankful to have them be there with Reid.


	8. Rossi get's it

When the other's started to understand.

It was Hotch's idea, because he knew this was perfect for Spencer, the others were beyond sceptical, however.

An unsub had been targeting young skinny white males at bar frequented but people in the punk scene- he was spiking their drinks with a mixture of ketamine and lsd, making his victims lucid and malleable before positioning them in a prayer stance and slitting their throats.

They were getting no where and they knew it, as few people were willing to talk to feds. So Hotch had suggest Reid, go to the clubs, get a feel of the crowd, caution people and narrow the suspect pool- he had after all the most knowledge and believability.

When they had met at the van near the club ready to mike Reid, his appearance had shocked all but one. He was clad in his, now customary, faded black skinny jeans, boots that although both black and chunky weren't matching, one with traditional tartan coming up to is mid skin the other stretching to just below his knee and covered with metal spikes. His shirt was black sheer mesh, exposing his chest with lay littered with scars and tattoos that intermingled together on his pale skin. He was covered with the familiar bear leather jacket that highlighted his slight body and around his neck snaked a dog collar of the same material. His hair had been styled in stark contrast to its usually draping appearance; it was curly to the point of messy and spiked up, exposing the shaved sides and giving a half Mohawk half mullet appearance. He had all his piercing in too and they glistened in the dim van lighting. Most striking was his eye though, emphasised by winged eyeliner and smudged black eye shadow- clearly not Reid's own work.

The realisation that this is what Reid normally wore, that Reid wasn't putting on an act, that this was Reid's scene was slowing dawning on the rest of the team. As there was no way this level of detail was just for one night.

"You go in, you sus the place out, you gather intel. That's all Reid- got it?"

"Yeah Hotch, I'm on it- don't worry I know a surprising amount of these people." And at that his eyes fluttered over to Morgan and Rossi, cracking his confident façade.

"You look good kid- should start wearing this to work. Would definitely send Miss Penelope into cardiac arrest that's for sure."

"Go get 'em Pretty Boy."

He let slip a small smile and gave an impossible awkward double thumbs up before shuffling out the van.

Not so different from the Doctor Spencer Reid they know after all then.

The night was exceedingly boring for the next few hours and then hell broke loose.

Within seconds Spencer was dragging some guy out the club by the ear and everyone was moving it; punches were thrown and then the team found themselves with guns drawn and a man shot in the arm bleeding in the alley while a bruised Spencer seemed to be loosing coherence.

"Kid, hey, Kid look at me- look, yeah that's it- what happened?" Rossi asked, kneeling next to Spencer trying to inspect his face for lasting damage while maintaining eye contact.

"tha' mot'erfu'er spike' m' drin'." Well that wasn't great, Rossi thought, glancing back to watch Morgan wrestle the guy into the car while Hotch started walking over.

"Listen kid, do I need to take you to a hospital? Do you know what was in it?"

"nahhhhhh m'fine Unc'a Rossi" he slurred reaching out to pat Rossi on the face with his hand, effectively slapping him: "I've had far wors'ed, wors'- this'll be fu-uh-n, m' hav't got high like this si'ce was kid."

That was doing very little to comfort Rossi, particularly as at that moment a group of teenagers exit the bar shouting "Fuck the police, Fuck the Feds" at them and Spencer eye's widened and he started gleefully and purposefully started shouting:

"Yeah! Fu-uh-Fuck the Feds- Fuck the Feds!"

Rossi sighed and held Reid's face still; "We are the Feds kid."

Causing an even louder eruption of "NO Fuck the feds!" to flood out of Spencer's mouth.

Rossi looked helplessly at Hotch who was now bending down to join them, with a face of conflicted worry and poorly hidden amusement.

"I think I better take him home before he starts trying to take down the man, by punching Morgan." And with that Hotch slid his arm around Spencer's waist and guided him to his car.

Rossi could still hear the kids barely coherent ranting of "If I'm a fed, I mus' be un'cover mission, yeah we can fuck 'em inside ou', catch 'em unawares, they'll never know until- bam!- they've been fucked."

Followed by the faint sound of Hotch's laugh.

Yeah, you stick it to the man Kid, Rossi thought smiling to himself.


	9. +1

When they all get the full story, start to end, all while Reid sleeps while watching Animal Planet.

It'd been 2 weeks since anyone had heard anything from Spencer, and yes his long term girlfriend who he'd never met had just died so they were cutting him some slack- but his long term girlfriend who he'd never met was just shot in front of him so not seeing him could potentially be the worst thing they could do. Who knows what goes on in that kids head, but leaving him to deal with this on his own was just not going to happen.

So, they did what any sane group of FBI agents would do when their friend was in potential trouble- the organised a raid.

Bundled together at 11am on a Saturday, Morgan, Garcia, JJ and Rossi, collected themselves outside his apartment brandishing weapons of mass comfort, largely supplied by Garcia.

Derek took a step back from the door before turning his face to check the team's reaction; "On three...one...two-"

And then he had kicked the door down.

A loud, and rather high pitched scream jolted the team as a 30 year old man clad in black and covered in tattoos, walking out of spencer's kitchen and chucked the bowl of popcorn he was holding- sending the contents raining down on the surroundings. He stood stock still, staring at the team who had just destroyed the door and were now brandishing their guns in surprise, before raising one inked finger and resumed screaming and pointing at them.

After the initial shock, of 4 FBI agents kicking the door down subsided; the other's in the room moved into action. The first of which, who had been laying on the floor hold someone's hand- Spencer's hand- moved towards the screaming popcorn carrier, glaring at the team and muttering "and you wonder why we hate you people" and held the younger man's face in his hands stopping him from any further screams.

The other 2 men in the room barely stirred from their position on the sofa. The largest of the 2, ex-army, was sitting upright at the end of the couch and merely turned his heads from the tv, giving the team a once over before turn back to, what looked like, Animal Planet. The other man, clearly the oldest and leader of the group, was lying on the same sofa with his back pressed against the opposite arm rest, he was glaring considerably hard at them. Both had a deceived and sleepy looking Doctor Spencer Reid, sprawled across their bodies with a purple blanket draped over him.

Their genius doctor had his face pressed into the chest of the oldest man and his legs in the lap of the other, he was snuggling with these strangers.

Well that was until he heard the door being smashed in and then screaming- he shot up from the man's chest, head snapping side to side before clocking his co-works. He sighed and laid back down.

"What the fuck?" Morgan muttered faintly, while the others made confused noises of agreement.

An even more confused noise erupted room his throat as a huge 3-legged Great Dane, started bounding towards them from beside the sofa and preceded to try and lick everyone's faces.

"Who are you people?" Rossi asked in a state of pure astonishment, something he was very unfamiliar with and very much didn't enjoy.

The dread-locked man who was comforting the now whimpering popcorn man, shot them a filthy glare. "I think we should be asking you that. You can't just fuckin' barge in' someone's life like this, fuckin' bozos. You haven't got the right."

"Look okay," Rossi said holding out his hands in a non-threatening style, "We just came to check on our friend, who seems fine. We work for the FBI- let me just get my badge-"

"We know who's you fuckin' are. What I wanna know is why the fuck you think it's okay to kick down the fuckin' door like some filthy drugs bust."

A guilty silence fell over the agents.

"Oh you gotta be kiddin' me!" The ex-solider erupted, knock Spencer's legs of his as he shot up stalking towards Rossi looking ready to fight, "What gives you the fuckin' audacity to-"

But before he could get within reach Spencer cut him off, still with his face pressed against the other's chest; "Leave them Cliff."

"I'm sorry Penny but these fuckin' guys ar-" he started pulling his fist back.

"I said leave it."

To everyone's surprise the man, Cliff, dropped his shoulders and moved away from the team to behind the sofa and gently stretched a hand down to stoke Spencer's hair who intern sighed and leaned into the touch.

"Can-can you just, could you explain to them?" Oh, and they weren't expecting the kid to sound quiet so defeated.

"Spence?"

Another sigh, "I'm fine JJ, just, can you just not."

With the Cliff and the alpha shared and glance and promptly Cliff was escorting the team into the kitchen, turning the kettle on, and reaching to get a beer out the fridge.

Once they were all out of ear shot, Garcia spoke; "Is he okay? Please we're sorry to do this, but we had to know he was okay."

"He's as okay as he can be, Miss Garcia I presume." She nodded her head tentatively as the other released the breath, "Look I know y'all confused and not gonna lie if it weren't for what Penny says about you lot, I'd run you outta this house, but he likes yus and I ain't about to ruin that for 'im."

"We appreciate that Mr..."

"Cliff, 'names Sergeant Cliff Murphy for yer background check but don't think about callin' me that crap."

"It's appreciated Cliff, I'm David Rossi it's good to meet you," he proceeded to point to each agent and giving their name, "but if you could explain your connection to the Kid it'd be very useful."

"Yeah, knew this'd happen but that little sneak to stubborn to list'n, he thinks we'd knock yus lights out the minute we see yuh. Yeah, Me 'n' the guys met Lucky Penny in there when he were about 16 and we've basically been family ever since. Martin in there, he's Penny's legal guardian an' all."

Shock and sudden understanding drawn on their faces.

"Wait, I'm sorry Mr Toughy weren't you like, much much older than Baby Reid when he was even Babier Reid- it, and no offense here Mr Cliff Sir, but it is a little creepy." Garcia blustered.

Shocking her even further, Cliff let out a meaty laugh- "Aye, yeah, I was abou' 30 when I first met 'im- and he were the smallest twig I ever saw thought, made me hungry jus' lookin' at 'im. Had the biggest fuckin' balls though"

Morgan's face crumpled in disgust and he lunched his arm at the guy, only to be caught Rossi: "He's saying he was brave kid, cool it."

"Oh yeh- fuck I ain't no perv."

"No one was saying you were Cliff, Morgan here's just worked up and protective, as we all are."

"To right I am, Rossi the kid was 16!"

Cliff soften is gaze and looked directly at Derek; "I get it man, the kid's like a puppy, you can't he'p protectin' 'im- thing is, he holds 'is own." His eyes crinkled round the corner and a fond look of exasperation clouded his gaze. "When we first saw 'im, he were walkin' alone in the middle of the night wearin' a fuckin' tank top in the roughes' part o' town. Course we were worried an' all and we was just in California playin' gigs and that, so we were jus' keepin' an eye as he walked past the bar. He's just walkin' cool as you like and then the kid jus' stops in a fuckin' alley to pet a cat like a nutter." The team looked at each other, seems Reid had always had a heart of gold. "Then these 2 yobs, 'bout 20, drunk as you like, muscly too, see the kid and start roundin' on 'im. Pen told us later they were from his course and didn't like that he were better than them. And we watchin' this like, oh shit the kid gonna get killed but then outta no where this little scrap is throwing his own punches, going berserk on 'em sayin' all this tough as hell shit like "your mum beats me hard than this", swear to god at one point he fuckin' moans 'n' says "fuck punch me harder daddy""

All jaws were dropped at that one, this couldn't be the same Reid that blushes at sex jokes like he's 12.

"Once we got over the shock n' all we lade into those cunts and help the kid to the van to patch 'im up good. We were just checkin' 'im for broken ribs, and outta no where he's spouting all these stats about kidnapping and then ends with some shit like "So you should know I have no physical strength and have been told I'm shit a sucking dick, so you might as well let me go as I have no value.""

He stops tell his story to make an appalled face that lightened by a smirk- "I remembers Tig, the guys holding the popcorn earlier, jus' leans int' me and Marti' and whispers "we gotta keep this guy, he's gonna die otherwise". But 'course only if he wan'ed, so we offer to give the little guy a lift.

So we just sittin' in the van, and he asks if were like punk or something- and so we tell 'im were in a punk band and own a bar and all that shit and he's like "cool" and then lifts his shirt showing this fuckin' home done tat that says "FUCK THE FEDS""

He starts belly laughing then- "had the exact same look you guys got now. He were a fuckin' force. So anyways, we take 'im home, to this shitty little room on edge of campus and we say goodbye.

Then, like 2 weeks later, were chillin' after a gig in the van, and we hear this little knock, and next thing we know the kid has plonked his skinny ass next to mine, dumping this fuckin' book called "being punk for dummies" on the floor and he's producing these brownies as "a thank you". Then we were stuck wit' 'im."

"I was a fucking joy and you know it Serge." They all swivelled their heads in surprise to see their spencer standing in the kitchen doorway wrapped in that purple blanket, looking awkward as ever.

The other man chucked and cuffed Spencer in the head jokingly "You're a bad penny, but we loved ya' for it."

Rossi coughed. Reid meet his gaze with his cheeks tinged with embarrassment, he gave a nervous wave.

Garcia barrelled towards him and flung her arms around his neck "oh my sweet little Badass, are you okay?" she coupled his face in her hands "Sweetness I've miss you."

His face crumpled "I've missed you too" he glanced upwards "all of you."

"Oh, Pretty Boy"- Derek muttered. Snaking his arms over Garcia to hug Reid too, while Rossi patted his shoulder and JJ stood to the side, holding back tears.

They pulled back and Garcia slapped his arm "How could you hide a whole other totally kick ass life from me!?"

He blushed looking down, "I didn't really think the FBI would appreciate my attitude and track record- uh- I used fake names to commit crimes against the government-" he coughed "-I should probably be in jail."

She gasped, "Gideon Hotched you!"

He frowned.

"He recruited you to stop you going to jail" she clarified laughing. He just rubbed the back of his neck smiling.

"You have to tell me all your Punk as story Pretty Boy, or I swear to go I will make your physical training mandatory."

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, please tell me if I've fucked up anywhere :)


End file.
